You have heard of a self fulfilling prophecy before, where a person dreads a certain outcome that they imagine, which then affects their attitude, their actions, and hence, causes them to ensure the dreaded outcome.
Take for example, a woman, let’s call her, Debra. She feels that a promotion would not go to her, but instead to her workmate, say Jennifer, because she is more beautiful and flirtatious. This affects Debra’s mood, making her smile less, becoming withdrawn and gloomy. This in turn, causes her to be anti-social, driving people away from her. She is perceived to be unfriendly. Her boss perceives this as, Debra is not the kind of person to work well with others. Debra also begins to dislike her work, feeling unrewarded and unrecognized, all before the promotion is awarded. She is now perceived, as someone who is not hard working, doesn’t use initiative and is hostile to new tasks. Of course, it ends up that Jen gets the promotion. However, she gets it because Debra worked to lose it! She ended up being an employee that shouldn’t get the promotion, although she was originally a great candidate before she began to feel that she wouldn’t get it.
This is what happens with a self fulfilling prophecy. As you can see, this is normally a negative outcome. How about if we had a positive self fulfilling prophecy? It actually works the same way as a negative self fulfilling prophecy, but in the opposite manner. Can we make good outcomes happen to us by simply believing that it will happen and that we deserve it?
What if Debra felt that she deserved the promotion and stood a strong chance of getting it? She would in turn, be positive cheerful, which would attract more people to her. She would be perceived as sociable and a person who worked well with others. She would also be more inclined to do new tasks while taking more ownership of her work. In her boss’s eyes, she would definitely be a good candidate. This would all increase Debra’s chances of getting the promotion, since she considered the opportunity. Remember, the best way to lose, is to not try. Another way to fail, is to visualize failure. Help yourself by giving yourself the best chance, by visualizing success and emulating a great attitude.
When things go bad in your life, it is even more important to have a good attitude, to have a positive fulfilling prophecy. Why? When you visualize a positive outcome and believe it, you are able to deal with hurdles as mere steps to your destination, not blocks. Your actions attract more positiveness in various forms. People are more willing to be your friends, to work with you, to engage with you. These things add up to better opportunities and better outcomes. Failure is viewed as only an ingredient of the recipe for success.
There are many ordinary people who do well in life, while there are many academic intelligent people who have very average lives. Why? Simply by not seeing failure. Every time something negative occurs, they simply work through it. They don’t see themselves failing. The same goes for the intelligent people who succeed. Adversely the more sophisticated thinkers see failures as vindication of the unsurmountable challenges they had seen from their extensive analysis. These people often suffer from “analysis paralysis”. Then there are driven people, who don’t see a negative outcome, they don’t stop until they arrive at the desired outcome. They don’t give up. They believe that it will work out in the end. The Positive Self Fulfilling Prophecy! What you think, you will do!
Barbara Frederickson, a positive psychology researcher at the University of North Carolina, provides surprising insights on this subject. In one of her studies, she found that participants who were subjected to images of fear and anger, had less responses to questions than participants who saw images of joy and contentment. In other words, the positive images produced more involvement and vibrant energy. There is much more to her study that is amazing. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/positive-thinking_b_3512202.html)
Positive thinking also makes you more physically durable, more resistant to sicknesses, and attracts more positive energy in the form of friends, contacts, assistance, opportunities, etc. It also makes you happier. When you you have something desirable to look forward to, it makes you happy in anticipation. You may have heard of Sam Berns, who died eventually from Progeria, a fatal genetic condition. Despite many limitations on his quality of life as the condition progressed, and his impending death, Sam was happy. When asked what was the secret to his happiness, he said, “always have something good to look forward to, no matter how little”.
HOW
However, it is important to have a good grasp of this prophecy to be able to key in on the energy and drive associated. To do that, you must have a really clear image of what it is that you are expecting. You need to be specific. You cannot just say I want to be rich. You must put a dollar figure on it and a deadline. Imagine on that date how your life will change. It’s only up to you! Here are a few ways to increase your ability to have a positive self fulfilling prophecy, i.e. think positive outcomes.
- Meditation – research shows that people who meditate often display more positive emotions than others.
- Writing – Write about a positive experience daily. The Journal of Research in Personality, in a three month study, showed that students who wrote about positive experiences had better mood levels, fewer visits to the health center and experienced fewer illnesses.
- Play – Schedule play time. A life lived without play, increases risks of stress-related diseases, mental health issues, addiction and interpersonal violence. The laughter, thrill, escape from stressful thoughts, rejuvenates creativity and renewed energy to tackle problems.
A positive mindset is powerful. Let’s harness this power with a positive self fulfilling prophecy. Make your prophecy vivid.
Remember: You are not alone anymore.