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PULL not PUSH yourself towards success.

I felt compelled to share this.  I listened to this on my way to work and it reminded me of  few searing thoughts that I have formulated or learned along the way.

RAISE YOUR STANDARDS

I had posted about this before on my instagram acount, @yrajproductions.  Incidentally YRaj Productions was my photography business.  I realized later that I am much more passionate about inspiring, empowering and helping others, i.e. bring out the best in others.

I recall  when I was in high school and my grades were mediocre.  I was good in a few subjects where I excelled but others I gave a half-hearted effort and the results revealed this.  Later in America, in college, the work was easy for me, given my British education and I only gave 40%.  I didn’t do badly but I was nowhere near my potential, probably yielding results only a mother would find a way to speak positively about.  This was my standard that I had adopted.  Later at 30 years old, I was still without a BA degree due to some disastrous life events, along with almost certainly, a compromised standard.   I went back to school with renewed vigor and a mission.  In my classes, instead of being the youngest, as when I started, I was among the older students in my classes.
I decided that given that I was older, and late in the BA game, I had to graduate with honors.  That would be the only way that, graduating with a BA degree at my age, would be commendable for me.  As I made my way through the BA curriculum, I insisted on getting just As.  In the interest of being very forthcoming, I did get a few Bs but in the end I graduated Cum Laude.  All I had done was raise my standards.  It is like shaking off the loser and becoming a winner as easy as that.  It simply makes you into a different person.

 

BE OBSESSED IF YOU ARE SERIOUS

You have to become obsessed to live the life that pulls you towards your objective.  For example, I had two goals, complete reading a book about investment and improve my golf handicap.  After just 3 weeks, guess which one has had the most progress?  Hint:  it’s the one that I engaged in on my lunch break, looked at videos about it on my way to work, invested in myself, spending time after work almost daily.  It was the golf handicap.  I went from a handicap of 40 to 25 in 3 weeks, obsessively working on the weaknesses of my game.  I did not have to push myself to do this, I was driven, I was pulled by the mission, to play better.   I failed, I was discouraged, disappointed but yet I kept coming back, with a new attitude, new energy, new swing, new understanding.  I was driven.  The people at the top of their game are obsessed not only gifted and sometimes not even gifted.

 

WHAT YOU CAN MEASURE YOU CAN CHANGE

If you don’t keep a regular monitor of your performance, you cannot improve in a timely manner.  This also serves to motivate you.  Besides that it can encourage you to shift gears, go faster, go harder, to maintain progress.  It also provides data for analysis which you can use to ensure you are being efficient, that your plan is the right plan, that it is working and how well it is.  Understanding your progress keeps you connected to your goal which is important to keep your drive level high.  It also provides a sense of ownership over the process, which keeps you focused and committed.

Enjoy this video from the master who says it better than I can.

 

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How to unleash your Drive

DRIVE

How do we achieve that driving force that pushes us to perform at high levels on a regular basis? Is it motivation? Then how do you get motivation? Is it purpose? Then how do you get purpose? and be committed to that purpose?

Remember when you had drive to do something? To finish editing that particular photo, to dress meticulously to impress that boy or girl at a party, to finish the jigsaw puzzle(if anyone still does that these days) that you started, and so on. You were focused and energized with a relentless “drive”.

For practical purposes, the “drive” that I am referring to, is the type that is repeated on a regular basis, forming a pattern or habit. This is the kind that separates the successful from the wannabes.

After reading the various schools of thought, such as, “you must simply start”, “you must believe, i.e. have faith”, etc. I am “driven” to share with you my view on locking in that drive for you.

You must START regardless of anything, faith, doubts, environment and the right moment. This is the basis of my philosophy, “Mat socho bas karo” – don’t think, just do. Over the course of my life, I have seen the smartest people achieve mediocrity or even failure while average people achieve success or above average wealth.

The problem is this, we constantly overrate the odds and underrate our ability. If you want to lose weight, START. You know you must not eat that rice dish with lots of carbs, so don’t! Don’t think about, it’s not that many calories, or you will work it off tomorrow or you are just doing it now and will start tomorrow on eating right. Just START practicing the discipline. Shut the brain off and just do it! This is why animals get their stuff done, they are wired to get their work done, build that nest, hunt for the young ones, etc. They are wired with drive because theirs is the brains that don’t over think. Go into animal DRIVE!

(Caveat) To maintain the drive, you must want the end result. You must want to have that better body. You must want more money. You must want that job. This is the picture that you will focus on as you regularly commit your energy on a regular basis.

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Find your course now

Find your course by focusing on the tasks that produce the most satisfaction in terms of return; income, health and personal empowerment.

Only then, are you utilizing your 24 hours, that all humans have, rich or poor, efficiently.   You’ll see more results that will boost your confidence and create rich momentum.  Don’t think too much, just do.

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BE A S.E.A.L.

Some people are more productive, achieve greater things, and just seem to perform at a higher level. Ever wondered why some of us don’t? It is because we have a choice that is more comfortable that we gravitate to.

Ever heard about the training to become a Navy Seal? The few that survive the training, literally survive, because some trainees actually die just in the training, to go on to become part of an elite group of fighters. Men and women are pushed beyond the limits they were familiar with, to perform at extremely high levels, amidst distraction, stress, disorientation and physical pain. Yet, they execute, that is, the successful ones.

We have always heard that to be successful, you should be in the right environment, have the right friends, remove negative forces of friction. Well, you don’t need that to succeed, although they certainly increase your chances they do not ensure your success.

The reason that people are high achievers is probably as simple as Nike says, “Just Do It” Let’s revisit the Navy Seals. Seal trainees succeed because they are mainly mentally strong. At one time, post 9/11, the Navy was having problems acquiring enough SEAL graduates. They later found out that they were not focusing enough on the mental strength component in their recruitment. Being mentally strong may be simply being stubborn, not necessarily being smart, which might explain why many smart people don’t achieve high performance. When you are able to drown out the voices of reason and caution, you focus only on the task at hand. Those voices are frequently falsely disguised as self preservation, logic, and sanity. However, we cling to them as gospel, when we need a way out. Tony Clement, ex-Navy Seal, now VP of a company that connects big brands like Samsung, YouTube, to audiences around the world, said that, “Don’t think about what comes next” He said that this is a surefire way for your brain to talk you out of tasks. “Stay focus in the now”. For Navy Seals, the way out is through, dealing with the now and focusing primarily on it.

It is possible that one of the most basic ingredient of being successful, which sometimes is coined by another term, discipline, is the ability to not think about next, but focus on the execution of now. Nature gets things done by not thinking about if it is ready to perform. There is no other choice but to perform. Human beings tend to get into comfort zones and rationalize reasons for delay. However, when you think about what other human beings endure, Seals, in their training, it doesn’t seem tough to get up in the morning and run, compared to a Seal who has to wake up during Hell Week, where they go for a week with no more than four hours of sleep. It doesn’t seem tough to go to the gym and get those reps in, it doesn’t seem tough to stay up or sacrifice fun and stick to your study plan. The Seals training involves tests of physical endurance, mental toughness, pain and cold tolerance, teamwork, attitude and the ability to perform work under high physical and mental stress, and sleep deprivation. It is the toughest training in the U.S. Military.

Only 25% of SEAL candidates pass Hell Week. Those that pass, know that they can now do 20 times more than they ever attempted or thought possible of themselves. They know they will never quit or let a teammate down. Most people believe that Seals are about physical strength. It is part of it but the biggest requirement is mental toughness. It is the mind that will give up on you first, not the body. For this reason, a Seal knows that you must power though without giving the mind too much room to rationalize and defeat you.

So the next time, you are wondering whether you can run that mile, think about a Seal trainee, during Hell Week, moving in cold water, doing push-ups in muddy sandy conditions, and just get it done. There is no ideal condition, ideal time, just the moment, in which to execute or die. That is the choice. If you are faced with that choice, instead of sleeping more, studying later, postponing gym, you would get it done. Do Not Give Yourself a Choice.

So from today, we are going to practice a SEAL mentality, where we set a Standard of Excellence in the Achievements of our Life. Remove the alternative choices in your moment of hesitation and execute with excellence. The majority of trainees that survive Hell Week graduate to become SEALs. After Hell Week, the confidence, the assurance, in themselves is high. This is called Momentum. You only achieve it by getting something done under challenging circumstances, then another, getting tougher, stronger, more confident, which consequently helps to get tasks done more readily.

The amazing thing is that there is a SEAL in all of us, that is capable of things that we cannot even contemplate now. The good news is that all you have to do, is do the first thing that you don’t like to do. Do that thing and realize that you can get things done. The alarm goes off, you are awake, you start telling yourself that you didn’t sleep well the night before and you should grab a 15 mins more of sleep to function well at work. As soon as you start thinking, MOVE. Get into motion, stop thinking. Get that run, that gym grind, done! Go to the next unpleasant thing and the next. Pretty soon, you will be accomplishing the impossible. The only difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that one takes the way out and the other takes the tough way through.

BE A SEAL!
NOW, the next thing you have to do, could be the smallest thing, like getting up and making a healthy breakfast, run, push-ups, whatever big or small that you don’t want to do, just …Go, and set a new…

…..Standard of Excellence in the Achievements of your Life.

Don’t think….GO!!!

Be a S E A L

Remember: You are not alone anymore.

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Live a positive self fulfilling prophecy

You have heard of a self fulfilling prophecy before, where a person dreads a certain outcome that they imagine, which then affects their attitude, their actions, and hence, causes them to ensure the dreaded outcome.

Take for example, a woman, let’s call her, Debra.  She feels that a promotion would not go to her, but instead to her workmate, say Jennifer, because she is more beautiful and flirtatious.  This affects Debra’s mood, making her smile less, becoming withdrawn and gloomy.  This in turn, causes her to be anti-social, driving people away from her.  She is perceived to be unfriendly.  Her boss perceives this as, Debra is not the kind of person to work well with others.  Debra also begins to dislike her work, feeling unrewarded and unrecognized, all before the promotion is awarded.  She is now perceived, as someone who is not hard working, doesn’t use initiative and is hostile to new tasks.  Of course, it ends up that Jen gets the promotion.  However, she gets it because Debra worked to lose it!  She ended up being an employee that shouldn’t get the promotion, although she was originally a great candidate before she began to feel that she wouldn’t get it.

This is what happens with a self fulfilling prophecy.  As you can see, this is normally a negative outcome.  How about if we had a positive self fulfilling prophecy?  It actually works the same way as a negative self fulfilling prophecy, but in the opposite manner.  Can we make good outcomes happen to us by simply believing that it will happen and that we deserve it?

What if Debra felt that she deserved the promotion and stood a strong chance of getting it?  She would in turn, be positive cheerful, which would attract more people to her.  She would be perceived as sociable and a person who worked well with others.  She would also be more inclined to do new tasks while taking more ownership of her work.  In her boss’s eyes, she would definitely be a good candidate.  This would all increase Debra’s chances of getting the promotion, since she considered the opportunity.  Remember, the best way to lose, is to not try.  Another way to fail, is to visualize failure.  Help yourself by giving yourself the best chance, by visualizing success and emulating a great attitude.

When things go bad in your life, it is even more important to have a good attitude, to have a positive fulfilling prophecy.  Why?  When you visualize a positive outcome and believe it, you are able to deal with hurdles as mere steps to your destination, not blocks.  Your actions attract more positiveness in various forms.  People are more willing to be your friends, to work with you, to engage with you.  These things add up to better opportunities and better outcomes.  Failure is viewed as only an ingredient of the recipe for success.

There are many ordinary people who do well in life, while there are many academic intelligent people who have very average lives.  Why?  Simply by not seeing failure.  Every time something negative occurs, they simply work through it.  They don’t see themselves failing.  The same goes for the intelligent people who succeed.  Adversely the more sophisticated thinkers see failures as vindication of the unsurmountable challenges they had seen from their extensive analysis.   These people often suffer from “analysis paralysis”.    Then there are driven people, who don’t see a negative outcome, they don’t stop until they arrive at the desired outcome.  They don’t give up.  They believe that it will work out in the end.  The Positive Self Fulfilling Prophecy!  What you think, you will do!

Barbara Frederickson, a positive psychology researcher at the University of North Carolina, provides surprising insights on this subject.  In one of her studies, she found that participants who were subjected to images of fear and anger, had less responses to questions than participants who saw images of joy and contentment.  In other words, the positive images produced more involvement and vibrant energy.   There is much more to her study that is amazing.  (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/positive-thinking_b_3512202.html)

Positive thinking also makes you more physically durable, more resistant to sicknesses, and attracts more positive energy in the form of friends, contacts, assistance, opportunities, etc.  It also makes you happier.  When you you have something desirable to look forward to, it makes you happy in anticipation.   You may have heard of Sam Berns, who died eventually from Progeria, a fatal genetic condition.   Despite many limitations on his quality of life as the condition progressed, and his impending death, Sam was happy.  When asked what was the secret to his happiness, he said, “always have something good to look forward to, no matter how little”.

HOW

However, it is important to have a good grasp of this prophecy to be able to key in on the energy and drive associated. To do that, you must have a really clear image of what it is that you are expecting.  You need to be specific.  You cannot just say I want to be rich.  You must put a dollar figure on it and a deadline.  Imagine on that date how your life will change.  It’s only up to you!  Here are a few ways to increase your ability to have a positive self fulfilling prophecy, i.e. think positive outcomes.

  • Meditation – research shows that people who meditate often display more positive emotions than others.
  • Writing – Write about a positive experience daily.  The Journal of Research in Personality, in a three month study, showed that students who wrote about positive experiences had better mood levels, fewer visits to the health center and experienced fewer illnesses.
  • Play – Schedule play time.  A life lived without play, increases risks of stress-related diseases, mental health issues, addiction and interpersonal violence.  The laughter, thrill, escape from stressful thoughts, rejuvenates creativity and renewed energy to tackle problems.

A positive mindset is powerful.  Let’s harness this power with a positive self fulfilling prophecy.  Make your prophecy vivid.

Remember:  You are not alone anymore.

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The pain is part of the process

Embrace the pain and use it to propel you forward. When the going gets tough, that’s when you decide, “am I mediocre or exceptional”. Don’t think, just DO.

Now I know that all my life, the painful moments were of value.  At the time, it was hard to acknowledge and appreciate.   When you realize this, it allows you to have a different attitude to painful moments.   Now, let’s not diminish the pain of losing a loved one due to death or the pain of dealing with a terminal illness.  Those are moments of immeasurable pain.  However, even those pains, are moments that can provide lessons, which can benefit others.  However, I am talking about the pain of losing a job, missing a promotion, hurting from tearing of a muscle while pushing yourself physically, the pain of losing a lover in a break-up, etc.

I lost my job during the holidays, not knowing if I were going to make rent, pay utility bills, or even have enough for grocery.  I know what it is like to have to visit a pawn shop to part with a cherished jewelry, be afraid of the knock on the door, anticipating eviction or bill collectors.  It is because of this experience, I have empathy for those that are hard working that can have pitfalls in life.  I also know that those moments are painful but temporary, providing that you have the courage to push through, grind on, until you find your way.  Looking back, I remember how I was consumed with the gravity of failure at that time.   I remembered though, that I did not hesitate to act immediately, to instantly work on my resume, and send the applications out.  I did what I had to do, I went back to delivering pizza, something I did while going to college.   I did not become consume with my failure.  I even started a business, scraping some bits of money from relatives.  I was still optimistic in the face of failure.  My business failed, as I was pushed out of the market from my previous boss, who had the means to control my supply.   After failing at the business, I kept going, kept applying, as I delivered pizza at night.   Eventually I landed an entry level job at Coca Cola and worked my way up quickly.  As I look back, my real failure was that I lost my hunger for fun.  You see it is balance that is the key to sustainable happiness.

I know now that experiencing the bad things that happened to me in life, has made me a better person, someone who can help those that are feeling hopeless, lost, lonely, discouraged and completely depressed.  Surviving a fatal car accident, losing my voice, being ridiculed, being bitter, angry with the cards life suddenly dealt me.

I even know what it is like to want to take your own life.

Today, I look back with gratitude, that I had those cards dealt to me.  It was only from experiencing real pain that I matured my awareness of people’s struggles, that I can really get into their shoes to be able to understand the challenges that keep them from moving forward effectively.  Now the pains that I encounter, excite me in the education that it offers me.  With every triumph, I gain lessons that I am eager to share, to let others know that they are not alone, I understand, I can help.   I have also acquired the kind of confidence that assures me that I can survive other challenges.

I am now glad for the pain.  Now I can help others through their pain.

Remember:  You are not alone anymore.

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Fear is not key, you are. Fear is the lock. 

Fear is not key, you are. Fear is the lock.

 Fear paralyzes, finds excuses, easier paths, lowers standards, and is natural.  But you are the key to unlocking the potential in you.

 

Fear is natural.  It is your body’s awareness of changing surroundings.  It is your body’s way to keep you safe and comfortable.  Now you must choose, do you want to stay comfortable and settle for where you are?  Or do you want to face the fear, in all of its promise of embarrassment, failure, and waste of time, but with the power to  elevate you to another level of income, strength, happiness, freedom?

The problem with us is that our greatest strength as human beings is also our greatest weakness.  That seems to be a rule that I cannot find a contradictory argument for.  It seems that this rule is the real eternal law of nature.  With every strength therein lies a weakness and vice versa.

Our mental fortitude and reasoning ability is what makes us superior among animals.  However, it is this very reasoning ability, the ability to feel emotions, to reason, use logics,  is what is our weakness.   For example, you decide that you are going to work on getting that perfect body, or maybe a little more realistic goal like losing ten pounds.   Your first step in this exciting plan that you are once again attempting for the 100th time, is to wake up and run/walk for 1 mile.   The morning comes and the alarm goes off, you wake up and just after you stop the alarm, you hesitate.  WTH!  It is too early, you did not sleep enough, what is so important about losing ten pounds THIS morning.  You did not sleep well, sleep is important…and soon, in those five seconds or less, you have rationalized your way out of getting up.  This is our mental strength as humans, now working as a debilitating force against progress.

Take the case of a hawk with chicks(actually the proper term is , “eyas”, eyas are young hawks or falcons) to feed.  It needs to find food for the hungry mouths, er..beaks,  so it is looking for a prey.  It spots a movement that looks like a snake.  It doesn’t think, that snake might be too dangerous, I might not be able to grip it properly, is it poisonous, maybe I will find a rat instead, it instantly focuses on the snake and instinct takes over, culminating in a perfect screaming descent and grabbing of the snake in its claws with its beak puncturing the head at the same time.  In the next two seconds, it takes off with the snake clutched in its claws, weakly wriggling.   From the time it saw the snake to when it is flying off with the snake, about 10 seconds had passed.   Btw, I actually witnessed this on a field trip in the Everglades one morning.  Here is the hawk flying off with the snake, that weighs more than its own weight.

It is that momentary hesitation before you actually commit to doing the task that gets you.  That is the moment when you must abandon thinking or reasoning and plunge forward.   Fear creates that hesitation.  Sometimes it is with good reason.  Most of the time, in sticking with our goals, grinding through tasks, it is debilitating.

To go to a higher level, you must jump.  It will be fine.  Prepare and execute.   Don’t wait to be perfect, unless it is something like rock climbing where lack of preparation could mean your death.  However, don’t wait until you had enough sleep to get going on your exercise plan, don’t wait until you have the best photo in the world before you take part in a photography contest, don’t wait until you have time to start learning a new skill or gain knowledge to increase your earning ability.   Act now.  Success does not require perfection.  It certainly requires a first step, even if you fail.  As a matter of fact, the fear of failure is what keeps many from really living.  Denzel Washington, in his commencement address, said to the students,  “FAIL, but don’t just fail, FAIL BIG” (no he did not say “Fail Bigly”)  In other words, do not be afraid to take risks.

Fear is not the key.   YOU ARE the key to unlock the potential that the fear is keeping locked up.

Remember:  You are not alone anymore.